We have all experienced trauma in one way or another, and if we don’t deal with it, it can manifest later in our lives and cause immense difficulties. Facing it is not easy, but there are so many tools out there to help you work through whatever is causing you pain. After an overwhelming response to her previous appearance on the show, Andrea Crowder joins us again, this time with her husband, Jeremy, in tow, to get real about what it means to work through trauma. In this episode, we hear the details of their love story and how they got married despite Andrea being in a dark time of her life. Jeremy saw the sparkle in her eye and knew that this was someone who was going to thrive if she had someone to support her while she was figuring out her life. The couple then bravely opens up about Jeremy’s PTSD and how it affected their relationship, as well as each of them as individuals. Living in a constant state of fight or flight impacts your whole life, so Jeremy and Andrea had to work to learn a new language to connect and truly listen to one another. We hear about the modalities, ART, and RRT, that helped Jeremy work through his trauma and see how he was hurting others through his actions. Our conversation also touches on the importance of coaching and therapy, realizing you are enough as you are, and why you should not shy away from asking for help. Being married is not easy, but is one of the most rewarding relationships you can have. If you can hold space for one another and feel like you are seen and heard for all that you are, the possibilities, as they have been for Jeremy and Andrea, are truly endless.
Key Points From This Episode:
– Why Chris decided to have Andrea back on so soon after her previous appearance.
– The story of how Andrea and Jeremy got married during the hardest stage of Andrea’s life.
– How Andrea overcame her ‘career ADD’ to stay on the path of her passion.
– The role you can play for someone who is trying to find their purpose in life.
– When Andrea has experienced the most contentment in her relationship with Jeremy.
– The importance of taking personal responsibility for actions and feelings in relationships.
– Andrea and Jeremy’s struggles with his PTSD and how they dealt with it respectively.
– Benefits of looking at situations objectively rather than emotionally participating in them.
– What happens when you are permanently living in a state of fight or flight.
– Hear about ART and how this modality helped Jeremy deal with his trauma.
– How trauma, through getting replayed, affects your body negatively.
– Jeremy’s words of advice for when to seek help: don’t wait!
– Your emotions are what either propel you forward or hold you back.
– PTSD can rob you of living your life, and RRT is a powerful modality to deal with it.
– Why Jeremy’s emotional growth journey is more difficult than his military work.
– Doing the work does not mean things get easier; it gives you a new language to navigate the world.
– Debunking the myth that therapy is soft and something you don’t need if you are successful.
– How Jeremy has evolved over time and has taken responsibility for hurting people’s feelings.
– You already have enough to do whatever it is you want to do.
– It is so important, no matter where you are in life, to be OK with asking for help.
– Why Andrea and Jeremy are able to work together at this moment in time.
Tweetables:
“If you’re going to be supportive of somebody that’s trying to find their passion, you got to kind of just let them go and be supportive. It’s not your journey to be on.” — Jeremy Crowder [0:10:51]
“We all have pain stuffed down from a certain point in our life and we may not be consciously aware of it.” — Andrea Crowder [0:15:00]
“For the last 17 years, nearly every single fight that we ever had, it was because we didn’t feel heard or understood or appreciated. And learning that new language helped us be able to pause and try to understand the pain the other person was going through.” — Andrea Crowder [0:22:11]
“ART is one of those things where it absolutely changed my life for the better because it was able to rapidly teach my brain how to rewrite those emotional aspects that’s tied to those memories.” — Jeremy Crowder [0:26:41]
“Don’t be the knuckle-dragging idiot gorilla that I am and try to think you’re tougher than you are and that you can handle all of it and you can get through it on your own because you can’t.” — Jeremy Crowder [0:30:20]
“You wouldn’t let hidden or invisible things destroy your business, so don’t let it destroy your life and who you are.” — Jeremy Crowder [0:32:50]
“I define freedom as fulfillment, relationships, energy, expression, direction, opportunity, and money. Money’s last, but money will always come if you focus on those other elements first.” — Andrea Crowder [0:49:49]
“You’re always enough, exactly where you are.” — Andrea Crowder [0:55:12]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Episode 24 with Andrea Crowder
Accelerated Resolution Therapy
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