What makes the BEST couples their best?
Why are some couples considered “powercouples” when others are not?
When a happy marriage lasts 50+ years, what’s the MOST important thing in their relationship?
These questions have inspired writers, poets, psychologists, and relationship gurus and many more people for centuries. And yet the answers always seem to revolve around communication, trust, listening, etc.
I have a different answer.
And let me preface this with some relationship street-cred…
I am the youngest of 4 married siblings, 2 of which got divorced and are now happily remarried. My parents were married for 25+ years, divorced when I left for college, and one is now happily remarried. I have countless friends who have been married, divorced, or dated their whole lives and I’ve watched nearly every circumstance possible befall these couples over the years. I was even married once myself, and despite doing everything I could to be a truly great husband, the marriage failed because she was deeply unhappy beyond my influence and she was unfaithful.
Now, I realize none of this makes me an “expert” as far as certifications and degrees suggest… So what’s the difference in my experience?
I study humans. I explore what makes them successful in life, business, leadership, romance, happiness, and their relationships… and I’ve always studied these things because I wanted to know how to be the best in each category.
My life, business, and relationships have carved out a peculiar place for my experience where I’ve been able to live vicariously through hundreds of couples and learn from their mistakes, successes, and examples. Combine all of this experience with my training as a life & business coach and well… now you can see why I take my relationship with Ms. Mango (soon to be Mrs. Goodman) so seriously.
Our relationship works so well, so purely, and so authentically because of one major thing:
We push each other.
What makes us our best for each other? What makes us a powercouple? Why will we be happily married for 50+ years?
We push each other.
How does every conversation actually engage both of us? What makes us want to spend so much time (50+ hours/week) together? Why do we want to build businesses, live the life of our dreams, AND show other couples how to do it for themselves too?
Because… We. Push. Each other.
On our first date we didn’t talk about small things like the weather, where we grew up, or what our jobs were like… We had deep, meaningful conversations about how we both wanted to change lives, enjoy the freedom of being an entrepreneur, have a massive impact on the world, our burning desire to squeeze every drop out of life… and food. I remember talking a lot about food haha…
The point, though, is that even on our first date we truly pushed each other to see what we were all about, what we each wanted, and what we didn’t want.
We still do that today, and I trust we always will.
Tony Robbins said (paraphrasing) if you want to have a great relationship, do what you did in the beginning of the relationship until the end of the relationship and there WON’T BE AN END to the relationship!
Can you see how that applies to the happiest couples you know? If they were sweet to each other in the beginning, what happens when they stop? If they were adventurous together in the beginning, what happens when they stop? If they were passionate together in the beginning, what happens when they stop?
The relationship stops. Romance stops. Growth stops. Passion stops.
For Lindsey and me, this means we will ALWAYS push each other. We hold each other accountable, inspire each other, push past fear or doubt, believe in the other one more than they believe in themselves…
When push comes to love, we push back.
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