There is no perfect way to date. There is no formula other than showing up as yourself, being authentic, and having faith that it will all work out. Despite how simple this is, we have all overcomplicated the process of finding a partner, and this can cause so much unnecessary suffering. In today’s episode, Chris is joined by his incredible wife, Lindsey Mango, where they discuss some of the common problems they see with dating. From the belief that you can’t find the right person, to not being clear with your standards, to outsourcing your happiness, there are numerous self-imposed obstacles in the dating world. It is important to approach the process from a curious, abundant mindset rather than a close-minded, fearful one. How you approach dating is how you approach anything in life, and if you want to change anything, it all starts with you. You have to put in the work and relentlessly grow to find your perfect partner. Tune in to hear it all!
Key Points From This Episode:
- The number one issue around dating that Chris and Lindsey have seen as coaches.
- Get clear on your dating standards before you put yourself out there.
- What happens when you do not have clarity around what you do and don’t want in a partner.
- Similarities between the missing piece of a puzzle and finding a partner.
- Why you should think about how you want someone to make you feel rather than having a checklist.
- The second most common issue when it comes to dating.
- You cannot impose your standards and expectations on others if it’s not how they’ve chosen to live.
- Why Lindsey believes it is helpful to differentiate between standards and expectations.
- The value of speaking your expectations aloud and what can happen when you clarify.
- Chris’s two most important rules: you get what you tolerate, and you are training people how to treat you.
- You can give people an opportunity for people to rise to your standards.
- Half-in dating or not having fun dating: hear about what this means.
- Marriage or a long-term committed relationship isn’t for everyone, and that’s ok!
- You cannot look outside yourself to create your happiness.
- How you know when you are looking for happiness externally.
- Pressure over process: the fifth mistake people make when it comes to dating.
- Why a lack of confidence is such a problem in the dating world.
- How Chris maintained his confidence despite people telling him otherwise.
- Building confidence is like building physical strength; it takes practice.
- Abundance versus scarcity and how this ties into dating.
- You have to set the foundation for having difficult conversations early on.
- Sometimes the hardest thing can be the best thing to tell someone.
- Advice for changing your dating life: look inward and see what work you need to do.
“Once you learn to create love, support, feeling powerful within yourself, then you can create a standard.” — Lindsey Mango [0:10:54]
“You get what you tolerate.” — Chris Goodman [0:13:33]
“One of the most important things when it comes to dating or producing any result in your life is that you’re committed to the outcome no matter what.” — Lindsey Mango [0:17:00]
“If you’re dating the right people, they know part of the cost of dating or potential cost of dating is having your heartbroken. But if you are constantly putting pressure and stress on whether they’re the one, you don’t give either of you the opportunity to see if you’re each other’s person.” — Lindsey Mango [0:25:04]
“Are you making abundant choices or are you making scarce and fearful choices?” — Chris Goodman [0:35:18]
“I’ve seen so much pain from people hiding their truth.” — Chris Goodman [0:39:51]
“You’re going to attract people into your world based on who you’re being.” — Lindsey Mango [0:42:47]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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